- You know, sometimes, when I begin working with a new client, they tell me that they are depressed, and that they have been depressed for quite a while now. When I ask them if they can pinpoint a situation or event that they believe triggered it, I often get a surprising response. They tell me it all started when they got married!
It's believed that between 5 to 10 percent of Americans suffer from depression, the bulk of the sufferers being women. Researchers have found a major contributing factor to the malady in women is marital hostility. The research found that husbands’ hostile and antisocial behaviors increased their wives’ symptoms of depression over time. The more hostile and anti-social behavior exhibited by husbands, the more depressed their wives were after three years.
What's even more interesting is that wives' hostile and aggressive behavior had little to no impact on the emotional well-being of the husband. Things that did affect the husband's experience of depression were serious illness, the loss of a job or promotion, or the death of a loved one.
What's more, warm and affectionate behaviors from husbands significantly lowered a wife's experience of depressive symptoms!
So what did the researchers define as antisocial behaviors? Antisocial behaviors are those that are self-centered, defiant or show a lack of restraint; hostile behaviors are those that are angry, critical or rejecting. So what does this mean? It means that we are affected by those we love, and they are affected by us. If you already knew that, its important to let your therapist or other mental health provider know what's going on for you at the couple level in order to provide a clearer picture of what is going on in your life.
It may seem like a funny joke to tell someone that your husband is making you sick, but for many women, that's the sad truth. Depression can be a seriously debilitating disorder, but there are effective ways to deal with this disorder. Medication coupled with psychotherapy are the most efficient way to treat depression. See your physician and ask her about your medication options in treating your depression.
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