We know stress is part of everyday life. But, stress that's huge (like your cat running away, or your boss deciding you aren't needed at work anymore...) can have an effect on your brain that isn't pretty. Studies now show that extreme hardships can actually shrink your brain! Especially the gray matter in the pre-frontal cortex...that's the part of your brain where judgment and impulse control come into play. Its impossible to avoid stress in today's world, but knowing the effects of prolonged extreme duress can be eye-opening (if not brain expanding!). Its never too late to learn new, and more effective ways to manage the grind that can

All that stress is shrinking your brain, new study finds
By Rita Rubin
Everyone knows stress can cause headaches and sleepless nights. But a new study suggests it can actually shrink your brain.

We’re not talking run-of-the-mill stressors here, like a looming deadline or a missed bus.

“These are bad things happening, like a relationship breakup, loss of a loved one, being held at gunpoint,” says Yale neurobiologist Rajita Sinha, senior author of the new report.

Simply feeling stressed-out was not linked to gray matter shrinkage. But feeling stressed-out combined with a history of stressful life events was.  In particular, stress was linked to markedly less gray matter than expected in a part of the prefrontal cortex that regulates emotion and self-control, not to mention blood pressure and blood sugar.

That shrinkage might serve as a red flag about a greater risk of chronic diseases such as high blood pressure as well as psychiatric disorders, according to the researchers. And maybe it’s already affecting brain function in the healthy individuals she studied, Sinha says.

In other words, the stresses of modern life are far more complicated than what our ancestors experienced. “You can say stresses are a part of life, so what’s the big deal?” Sinha says. But it is a big deal, she adds, because there’s extensive evidence that stress has contributed to the rise in chronic diseases.

Most human research about the impact of stress on brain structure has focused on patients with stress-related psychiatric disorders such as addiction and anxiety, according to the authors. Those studies have found decreased volume in the frontal lobe, considered the center of emotion control and personality.

But studies of the cumulative effects of stress on the brains of healthy people are rare, Sinha’s team writes in a paper published online this week in Biological Psychiatry.

The study enrolled 103 health adults ages 18 to 48. Researchers conducted structured interviews with the volunteers to collect information about stressful life events and subjective feelings of chronic stress.

The scientists then used MRI to scan the volunteers’ brains.

Whose brains shrunk more, men’s or women’s? You might think you know the answer, but the researchers don’t, because they didn’t have enough women to compare the sexes.

The take-home message, Sinha says, is that the better you cope with stress -- take a walk, call a friend -- the better off your brain will be.

As a therapist, I work with people that are experiencing "contrast" (such as: emotional problems...snags...pain...depression...anxiety...you get the picture).  What I have learned is that once these contrasts are examined, i.e. feeling rejected by a partner or feeling unworthy of a promotion or feeling hopeless about the future...there is invariably an "opposite" state of being that can be used as a "rocket of desire". What does this mean? It means that when you feel depressed because the girlfriend or the boyfriend has moved on, the feeling around that is usually rejection. The opposite of rejection is what? Inclusion. Acceptance. Admission in to some "other" club that isn't rejecting you. So that desire for acceptance becomes the new goal. And from there, one can move up the emotional scale step by step until one is sending out vibrations of ACCEPTANCE rather than REJECTION.  And we all know that our current state of being is ALWAYS a vibrational match to what we are sending out.  Focus on rejection...attract more rejection.  Focus on all the areas in which you are thriving and accepted, get more flourishing and inclusion. It's pretty simple in theory. But doing it takes practice. Empowering oneself to KNOW the opposite of the problematic feelings is the first step to get over those hurdles.
And remember, NOTHING lasts forever...'not even cold November rain'.. ;)
So with a little effort and perseverance, one can go from feeling powerless...to feeling incredibly powerful!

_A simple way to understand the Vortex is this:

* Before your birth into this physical body, you were in the Vortex (no
resistant thought resides there).
* A part of the Consciousness that was you is now focused into the
physical you that you know as you.
* The contrast of your life causes you to send rockets of expansion
into your Vortex, where the larger Non-Physical part of you exists.
* The Vortex, which holds only your positive requests for improvement
and expansion, holds no thoughts that contradict improvement and
expansion.
* The Law of Attraction responds to the pure, nonresistant Vibration of
your Vortex and gathers all cooperative, Vibrational- matching components that are necessary for the completion of the creation.
* You are one of the components of your creation.
* In fact, you are the creation.
* So the only question is: Are you, from your physical format, right
now, a Vibrational Match to your creation? Or not?
* And the way you feel, right now, as you focus upon the subject of
creation is your answer.
* If you are angry - you are not a Vibrational Match - and you are not
in the Vortex.
* If you are feeling appreciation - you are a Vibrational Match - and
you are in the Vortex. (-Abraham-Hicks)

Getting into the Vortex is the key to deliberate manifesting.

While rummaging around the internet, I found this Huffington Post article by Srinivasan Pillay on the Science Behind The Law of Attraction.
Enjoy!
There is an age-old belief among spiritualists that you draw to your life what you put out. Through deep meditation, these ancient seekers discovered how your external circumstances reflected your internal state. More recently, inspiring writers such as Deepak Chopra, Esther and Jerry Hicks and Wayne Dyer have expounded on these ideas by introducing "The Law of Attraction", "Ask and It is Given" and the "Power of Intention." "The Secret" then brought together many thought leaders in this world and spread the experience of different individuals supporting this principle. In "The Secret" we learned that this is based on "scientific principles" alluding to quantum physics supporting this contention: that you will attract to yourself whatever you put out. In this column I will answer the question: is there a basis in the human brain to support this seemingly abstract idea?

Recent brain imaging studies are rapidly showing that the brain does in fact conform in its function to the "Law of Attraction". Perhaps the most convincing evidence to date has been the discovery of "mirror neurons". At first seen in monkeys, scientists eventually found a set of "mirror neurons" in humans that mirror the behavior of someone who is being observed. That is, when we observe someone doing something, the same pattern of brain activation that allows that person to do what they are doing (e.g. lifting up their right hand or smiling) is mirrored in the brain of the observer. It is as if the observer is doing those same things. Activations are seen in the premotor and parietal cortex of the brain: regions that prepare the body for movement and attention. Thus, our brains appear to mirror the actions of another person automatically. Similarly, when we act, the brains of others will fire in a similar way. Our actions cause similar action-representations in the brains of others.

Think for a moment about how great you feel while watching a high-speed car chase or tremendous acrobatics. Your own brain sets up a simulation as though you are actually doing these things. You start to feel as though you are the pole-vaulter or the ice-skater since your brain mirrors the actions of those you are watching.

While this field is still developing, a more established set of findings goes on to further support the "Law of Attraction." Early research using brain imaging has shown that fear activates an almond-shaped collection of nerve cells in the brain called the amygdala. When you show people fearful faces, the amygdala activates as if those people were experiencing fear themselves.

What is perhaps more intriguing, is that there are ways to change the experiment so that people are entirely unaware that they are seeing those fearful faces. However, when you look at their brains during this period when they are unaware of seeing the faces, the amygdala also activates. Even people whose brains have been damaged so that they are "blind" to what they see will have their amygdalae light up when exposed to fearful faces. Thus, fear in others will register in our brains as fear. Another person's lit up amygdala will light up our own. We "attract" the fear to ourselves because we are connected to other people and their brains instantly. That is why anxious people make other people anxious, and fearful people make other people afraid. Similar principles apply to happiness and expected reward, when our brains will light up those centers that correspond with these emotional states in others.

While at first astounding, it starts to seem believable when we think of how often we have a "gut feeling" of fear when someone else is afraid, or a "gut feeling" of well-being when someone's smile is authentic. This "gut feeling" is actually also a "brain feeling" as we set up brain responses in the brains of others with our own emotions. That is, aside from our brains mirroring the actions of others, they can also mirror emotions.

A third line of evidence that supports the "Law of Attraction relates to "Ask and It Is Given" and "The Power of Intention." The brain regions involved in "intention" are very connected to those regions involved in action. As a result, firing up those brain regions involved in intention will start to fire up your action centers. Intention needs to be strong enough for action to occur. Also, when you place your attention on a certain feeling (e.g. pain), it can worsen that feeling. By inference, when we place our attention away from that pain, the pain is decreased. Thus, it is not so much that we are "attracting" what we put out, but that we make it possible to feel and do things when we attend to them or intend to do them.

Thus, "contagious actions", "contagious feelings", "intention-action" connections and "attention-action" connections all support the "law of attraction". Underlying all of these ideas is the notion of connection - we are connected within and without. What we think and feel affects how we will act and how others will act as well. The depth of our feelings and actions is a critical variable in "attracting" what we want to our lives.

This is a fun and useful article by Adam Khan:
"THERE ARE MANY DIFFERENT possible ways to talk to yourself. One way is to reassure yourself. For example, before a party you might be feeling a little nervous so you tell yourself, "It's going to be fine. It'll turn out okay."

Another way to talk to yourself is to give yourself advice or instruction. For example, "At the party, focus on drawing people out and getting them to talk about themselves."

Another possible way to talk to yourself is to put yourself down. "I look like hell. I'm a loser."

Or you could ask yourself a question. On your way to the party, you could ask yourself, "What can I do tonight that would make it genuinely fun?"

Of all the possible ways to talk to yourself, asking yourself a question is the most powerful. Questions direct your mind and set trains of thought into motion. That's what makes them so powerful. Questions are generative. They generate thought. And because they are so powerful it really makes a difference to pay attention to the questions you ask yourself and to ask yourself good questions.

Asking yourself a bad question before a party, for instance, can create excessive anxiety and a negative experience. For example, "What if I can't think of anything to say? What if I embarrass myself? What if I'm a loser for the rest of my life and I never get married and live alone and shunned by the world?" The what-if questions are creating a chain of anxious thoughts and images that produce feelings of anxiety. With thoughts like these running through your mind, you arrive at the party feeling nervous and withdrawn. You can't think of anything pleasant to say (because your own anxious thoughts are occupying your mind) and you embarrass yourself with your own awkwardness. Keep this up and your dire predictions of a lonely life could come true — not because you are stupid or ugly or have character flaw, but merely because you never paid attention to the questions you asked yourself, and you never tried to ask yourself high-quality questions.

What makes a good question? That's the obvious next question, isn't it? What makes a question a good question? The answer is simple. A high-quality question has a good result. It focuses your attention on something that makes you effective. It directs your mind to something that helps you successfully handle the situation. A question is good if it leads to a good result.

Bad question: What if they don't like me?
Good question: What is something I could do right now that would make me more likable?

Bad question: What if I fail to accomplish my goal?
Good question: What's the most important thing I could do to make sure I accomplish my goal?

A high-quality question is one that produces an end-result you desire. Check in on the questions you ask yourself (you'll have to pay attention because your thoughts are happening automatically much of the time) and then ask this question: "What is the result of asking myself that question?"

If the result isn't good, ask yourself, "What result do I want?" And when you decide on a result, ask yourself, "What question can I ponder that would help me achieve that result?" Don't settle for the first thing that pops into your head! Think about it. Make a list. Force yourself to come up with ten good possible questions.

Then choose the best question — the one that will produce the best result — and practice asking yourself that question. Literally practice. Ask that question many times. Get used to asking it. Make it familiar and comfortable and automatic.

There are certain times when it would help to ask yourself that question. Practice asking that question at those times.

For example, when Katie is preparing for an interview, she doesn't want to obsess about her automatic questions, "What if they don't want me?" and "What if I make a fool of myself in the interview?" She is fully aware that those questions don't put her in the best frame of mind to have a successful interview.

She decides that a good question to ponder is, "How can I help these people?" That will put her in just the right attitude for an interview. That's a question that will produce a good result. So while she is getting dressed for the interview, she asks herself that question. She ponders it. When her mind wanders, she comes back to that question. And in the car, on the way to the interview, she thinks about it some more, trying to think of ways she can help her future employers. Whenever her mind drifts to her worries, she asks herself, "Yes, but how can I help these people?" And even walking into the interview, she is wondering how she can help them.

What do you think would be the difference between Katie sitting down for an interview wondering, "What if they don't want me?" versus sitting down wondering, "How can I help these people?" What kind of difference would she have in attitude? In her demeanor? In her level of stress hormones? In her focus — outward focus versus inward focus? I think you can see it would be a large and visibly obvious difference. The second question would make her more effective in the interview. The second question is more likely to lead to a good result.

Asking yourself a good question is a very powerful tool. What great things do you think it can help you achieve? Good question.

I admit that I love a good fireworks show. Its a little schmaltzy, I know, but fireworks and the Fourth of July are usually a good time for most people.  While speaking with clients during the week, I suggested taking a day off on the Fourth to some of my more driven clients, and watch a good show of flares, sparklers, and all the other oohs-and-ahhs attached to such events.
Taking time off is GOOD FOR YOU!
But, we needn't wait all year for a particular holiday to afford  play time, we can take 'play dates' with ourselves for just a few moments every day. Which brings me to the virtues of day dreaming. If you can't recall the last time you had a good day dream, you are long over due for taking off for exotic lands all from the comfort of your cozy sectional, or even from your cubicle at the office (if you are discreet that is).  Allowing your mind to wander to all the places that you probably corall with great effort most of the rest of the time can be refreshing and even get you clearer on where you would like to see your life in the future.  Maybe dreaming yourself into the home or job of your dreams is something that would make each day more of a valued step toward the destination you desire.  Abraham mentions the use of a Focus Wheel to make our dreams more 'attainable'.  I believe that day dreaming is another way of doing such a focus wheel, its just easier to do at red lights! Start by feeling ok about allowing your mind to wander freely for a few moments each day. Think of it as an anti-meditation that can have some of the same benefits as bona fide meditating.  Day dreaming helps exercise our imaginations and helps build the details of dreams you may have for yourself for your life.  Finding yourself at Whole Foods Market in the cheese section, while secretly seeing yourself flying overhead in a jet on route to a favorite destination can simply feel a heck of a lot better than waiting for the cheesemonger to extoll the virtues of Camembert over Gruyere! Day dream more....

An interesting thing happened this week.  After coming home from the gym with two of my daughters, I 'couldn't' find my ipod.  I knew I had brought it home after working out, but for the life of me, I simply had no idea where it was.  Now, its not totally outside the realm of possibilities for me to set something down, only to realize that it is no longer where I placed it.  Either I didn't really put it where I believed I did, or someone in my family moved it somewhere else (probably the latter rather than the former).  Now, I really like this ipod.  My husband gave it to me, and my kids loaded it with music that they know I love.  They really took some time with this because I am not a one-size-fits-all kind of gal when it comes to tunes.  I like, no LOVE, a lot of diverse kinds of music.  So the ipod has sentimental value as well as a concrete (as much as sub-atomic particles can be concrete!) value.  I asked everyone in the household to help me find this thing.  Pretty soon I am hearing, "Mom lost her ipod AGAIN" throughout the house(for the record, they were being hyperbolic).  Soon, I was also beating the drum of "My ipod is gone".  One of my girls suggested we look in the car.  We did.  It was NOT there. Another one of my girls suggested that she help me instead.  I said great and to the car we went. We were looking, looking, looking (I was wondering how on earth french fries can end up in places of a car that seem physically impossible to end up in!) and the ipod was declared gone.  This is when my 13 year old reminds me that I can't find something I believe is not findable.  Deep.  I hugged her, and we decided that the ipod was right in front of us.  Guess what? The ipod was literally right in front of us on the dashboard!  Now, I KNOW it wasn't there when I searched before.  But I also know enough to know that I can't pick up something that I am not a vibrational match to.  Once my daughter and I sent out the vibe that the ipod would be right in front of us...it WAS!  So why tell you this?  Because this is a small example of a larger picture when it comes to manifesting the life you desire.  IF you believe that you will never get a better job, or a betterr partner, or a sexier body, or more radiant health, chances are you are right.  You are sending a vibration on NO WAY and receiving the same results.  Once you to get into your 'Zone' or 'Vortex', and then make a move, you will receive exactly what you are putting out there.  We believed the ipod was there..and it was.  My client recently told me that she has changed her mind about men, that there a plenty of 'good guys' out there for her to meet and have a relationship with, and that her vibration has changed because she is in her Vortex.  Guess what? She met a good looking, sweet, smart guy that seems to be everything that she has wanted.  Why? Because she is now a vibrational match to what she is desiring. Before this, she found herself bouncing around from one emotionally unavailable (and often times married) man to the next.  Not only is this new guy single, but he enjoys the same things she does (not that the guy and she have to like the same exact things, but it certainly helps to have a couple of things in common).  The reason I tell you this is because its important for us to get into our Zone everyday, and then make our moves.  By being a vibrational match to what it is you want, the Universe can't help but align with you to deliver.  Really.  Trust me I know! So do what you must to get into your Zone, meditation, yoga, singing, dancing, cooking, whatever, THEN go about your daily business. It works.

How many of us need to be reminded to have fun? Probably a lot more than we believe. But having fun is just as important, I would say even more so, than getting work done (that's assuming your job/career isn't the most fun thing you do).  When working with clients, I encourage them to do something fun everyday...whether that's in the form of a great meal in a favorite restaurant, or a marathon of silly Chevy Chase movies.  Laughing and feeling good are important.  Feeling good sends out a much different vibrational setting than feeling frustrated or bored.  Abraham-Hicks tells us that the Law of Attraction works on a like by like basis. That means, when you feel good, you set in motion a stream of feel-good energy that builds on itself.  Having fun, and spending time doing joyous things raises your vibrational tone.  The formula would be this; if you are feeling good, you are probably thinking good thoughts.  Thinking positive thoughts coupled with a positive emotional vibration will attract to you more of the same. More positive experiences.  So now that the weather is warming up in certain parts of the country, its expected that flip-flops and beach towels will become the new uniform, rather than the heavy coats and boots of the last few months.  This lightening of our attire in itself can have a transforming quality. It feels great to walk along the shore at the beach, eat delicious meals al fresco, spend time boating with loved ones, lounging around the pool, sipping Margaritas (responsibly of course!) poolside laughing at kooky jokes your kids picked ...all the things that we find enjoyable are important in creating the life you truly desire.  So if you really want to have a better job, or attract a better mate, or desire to live in a more beautiful setting--go spend time having fun! it sounds simple because it is. Have fun!

I like to write about what's happening in the world.  Anyone that's paying even a modicum of attention realizes that there has been quite a few natural and not-so-natural disasters recently.  Most distressing has been the events of the earthquake(s) and subsequent tsunami in Japan. Its bad enough that thousands of people have gone missing as a result, but the effects of the nuclear power plant meltdowns has a lot of us really distraught.  Of course we all (I hope) try to do what we can to offer some relief in times of great suffering like these.  This is also a time when kids will come to parents for words of comfort and security assuring them that they are safe.  I tell my kids what I feel is the best response for each scenario, but sometimes I'm stumped.  Although I personally maintain that for every problem there is a solution, its not always easy to allay the fears of younger family members. Sometimes just letting them they're loved is all that's needed. 
One of my older kids is relentlessly interested in the prophecies around 2012. She has read the books, watched the youtube discussions, and seen the films. She is convinced that we will wake up on the morning of next year's winter solstice to a world that has turned on its head, literally.  It is in fact true that our planet is in a state of change, be it through the climate or the shifting tectonic plates, but how do you tell your teenager that a shifting of the earth's poles is normal and happens every umpteen thousand years?  Its much easier to explain bipolar disorder than the earth's shifting alignment. 
I am not going to go on about whether the prophecies of 2012 are "true" or not, that's something for a different debate in a different arena, but I am going to say that we as the grown-ups need to at least be a little knowledgeable about what's happening to our planet and what MAY or MAY NOT occur.
Whether you believe that the morning of December 21st of next year will be wildly different than that of the same day a decade before is up to you.  Different religious beliefs and hold different views of these things, but it makes sense to me to focus on the one thing that those in the "2012-will-be-the-dawning-of-the-age-of-Aquarius" tribe insist is vital, and that is LOVE.  After all the videos and lectures and books and whatnot that I have (not-so-enthusiastically) explored, those that seem the most "together" are the ones that are proclaiming that love truly is all we need.  And that makes sense to me.  Love. One of my favorite four-letter words. 

Lately, it seems that one can vacillate between distractions that are gruesomely terrifying, or focusing on the antics of a (possibly) over-paid (Winning! [Charlie Sheen]) actor that seems to have found his true niche in ranting and raving about the inane blunders of those around him.  This contrast is remarkable to me.  In the world of Law of Attraction, we hear the discussion of "contrast" all day and night. That we have "come here" to experience the wonders of contrast and thus expansion.  Sounds good enough.  Personally, after watching the horrific clashes between Tibetan protesters, the melt-down in Libya, shucks! call it the bulk of the Maghreb region, and the bombastic antics of a really funny comedian, I have to admit that I prefer to focus my attention right now on the latter rather than the former examples of LOA in action. Vibrationally it just feels better.  I can already sense the bristling from the back row as they prepare to accuse me of "not caring" about substantive issues, given my seemingly-pathological-curiosity with all things in the Winning Movement of Mr. Sheen.  Sure he can be sloughed off as an overpaid cry baby. But when it comes to creating his own reality; Charlie has this stuff down!  Who else could possibly get two of his girlfriends (ehem) I mean, "goddesses" to go on holiday with not only the ex-wife but also another porn star? Does this make him a poster boy for morality? Nope. But he never aspired to that anyway...so the point is moot.
My husband and I went to see some stand-up comedy and the Improv in Los Angeles a few of weeks ago (before the Sheen meltdown began) and one of the comedians went on to explain in great detail to the audience how Sheen was the only guy on the planet that could get away with all that he has gotten away with.  I scratched my head...glanced at my handsome hubby and we both nodded in agreement that indeed, Charlie was on a role!  Now is Charlie Sheen Bi-Polar? I can't offer that diagnosis, it isn't my place.  Is he riding a tsunami of mania on a longboard? Perhaps (again, its not my place to make such a call) but what Charlie IS doing is NOT going out without maximum effort.  He knows what he wants: to be recognized for his (many) talents, and to be paid A LOT of money for the rest of us to bask in his brilliant sun beam of specialness.  Sounds enticing really.  But what does this have to do with all of us and this blog post? The point is that what we focus on, and HOW we focus on it is everything.   We can either see Charlie as a delusional such-and-such, or we can see that this guy has so embraced the essence of "winning" that he can't seem to say anything else!  Regardless, if the exuberance that Charlie seems to possess in excess (to which you may say it is all drug induced--and maybe it is/was) could be tapped into by the rest of us, then maybe we would all feel as though we are on the wave ride of manifesting what WE want (the happiness, the perfect-sexy spouse, the family, the career, the wonderful health) then a lot of movement would be made.  So, I am not suggesting that we mimic Charlie, by all means, NO! don't do that, but at least give him some credit for creating his own reality (no matter how sordid, narcissistic, or decadent we may believe it to be) and embrace his "thing" as one guy insisting on continuing to create the life he wants. Now whether he wants to live in a locked down private facility with Dr. Drew is another story. But personally, I am going to look at the bright side. Naturally!