Things have been pretty quiet the last couple of days when it comes to the saga around Sandra Bullock, Jesse James, and the overly ambitious tatooed side dish.  First we have America's Sweetheart, looking stunning with her well rouged pout and her sleek  side swept 'do, accepting her first Academy Award for "The Blind Side".  We watched, glued to our flat screen televisions, as she poured her heart out on her love of family, her zeal for step mothering, and her seemingly unwavering love for her once-upon-a-time-bad-boy-now-reformed-doting-family-man, Jesse James.  We watched as he held back tears of joy and pride for his wildly successful spouse as she clutched her new Oscar.  Was there anyone watching this utterly believable demonstration of devotion and adoration from James to Sandra, with the idea in mind that in a few short days, all of this would come tumbling down like a house of cards built on the San Andreas fault?!  Probably not. I doubt even the most cynical among us would have predicted that within a week, the tabloids, the news and the internet would be plastering photographs of one hyper-inked, former Amish, single mother, ex-stripper turned tatoo model claiming to be the mistress of said brimming with pride, doting husband.  Really, the Amish aspect takes most of us to new levels of disbelief, does it not?  But then it gets even worse, with said misguided art enthusiast tatoo devotee posing in nazi garb while being said to have "White Power" spelled out on her refrigerator in Playskool fridge magnets!!   You couldn't  script this kind of stuff and think it was salable as "believable"!  But alas, there it is folks, Mr Sandra Bullock actually should have taken home the Oscar that evening for Best Supporting Actor in a Tragedy.  I don't know if he has been simply been giving the media lip service about his immeasurable love and adoration for his multi-millionairess wife, or whether he meant it all.  Naturally, anyone with a heart wants this to all have been some big mistake, if only for the kids involved in this situation.  Sandra Bullock has been pretty open about her love and maternal instincts being demonstrated to the three children that Jesse James brought to their marriage from his two previous unions.  I guess Sandee didn't quite realize that James really DID have a thing for triple x type women with more ink on them than any given sailor in 1944.  But that's not to say that he didn't love her, or doesn't love her, does it? 
What I find to be the most interesting aspect of this story, is that at the end of the day, the tatooed side dish becomes a kind of commentary of poster girl for the Women's Movement of the late 60s and 70s.  Back then, the conversation was about sexual liberation, and women claiming their power and independence.  Women were struggling to "own" their sexuality and become more comfortable with themselves as sexual creatures.   The inky paramore of Jesse James is the epitome for what the Sexual Revolution had been striving.  A woman that would take control of her sexuality, and not only feel comfortable about it but actually drive it like a Ferrari on the Autobahn of mainstream consciousness.  We don't have like her, her chosen hobby of self decoration, or her possible alignment with anything that Goering or Goebels would have approved.   Regardless of what you may feel about this "other woman" she did not promise Sandra Bullock to honor her and forsake all others, Jesse James did.  And as far as the segment of women that believe that a woman should never get involved with a "taken" guy out of respect and affiliation to the Sisterhood of Women everywhere, I say that this shirks the responsibility of the cheater and shifts the blame ( again!! Hester Prynn??).  There are so many issues that are enveloped in this one story that I am sure it will become grist for a lecture or two at some of our most esteemed university,  I just want to know what she was thinking with that ink on the forehead decision...
 
 



Ever notice in your own relationship, or in one that is very close to you, that some couples can have a total blow out fight with one another, and the next day either on or both of them seems to be completely over it?! Maybe that is you or your partner. You have a real conflict on Monday, and say by Tuesday your partner seems to have totally bounced back from the confrontation, while you find yourself still sulking for several days after the argument. Why is that? Well, a recent study out of Harvard University points to this kind of “emotional resilience” to a specific area of the brain. In other words...now researchers can tell if we are going to be angry for days on end, or sulky for some of us, through the use of functional MRIs. The fMRIs illustrated that those people with increased activity in the Lateral Pre Frontal Cortex, were more likely to bounce back the day after an argument or confrontation with their partner. With this information, psychologists may be able , in the future, to successfully predict who will be more prone to develop issues around mood and mood regualtion after a stressful event.

The study's lead researcher, Christine Hooker, had this to say about the finding; The key factor is that the brain activity in the scanner predicted [the couple's] experience in life. Scientists believe that what we are looking at in the scanner has relevance to daily life, but obviously we don’t live our lives in a scanner. If we can connect what we see in the scanner to somebody’s day-to-day emotion-regulation capacity, it could help psychologists predict how well people will respond to stressful events in their lives.

So what's the big deal you may be asking?

The big deal is that we now know, the region of the brain called the Lateral Pre Frontal Cortex, if observed, is an accurate indicator of emotional resilience. And emotional resilience is something that is desirable. We all know someone that being resilient is something of a strength when it comes to dealing with people in our lives. By being able to successfully identify that a part of the brain has decreased activity in those that are less likely to spring back from traumas, researchers may just be able to predict who will be more likely to develop a disorder with their mood, and maybe even before the moodiness, blues, and sulking take place. Interesting stuff.

 
 
Depression is the biggest mental health issue in America today, with almost 19 million Americans suffering from the disorder.  That's just under 10% of the population struggling under the weight of this disorder.  To break it down even more, that is basically one in ten Americans is wrestling with depression.
So, naturally, it's no surprise that researchers and the those in the mental health field want to know just what does successful treatment of depression look like. In a study that was done at Chicago's Rush University, it was discovered that patients diagnosed with clinical depression have better outcomes to medical treatment if they have belief in a concerned God. This study's actually building on an earlier study that showed us that those that had a religious belief were somehow protected from symptoms of depression. Mystical stuff? Maybe. But it's turning out to be true, nevertheless. Now this is taking into consideration that the patients in the study were all taking antidepressant medications, it's just that those that had a firm belief in a benevolent God simply fared much better.

The underlying feeling that was key in the improvements was the feeling of hope, which typically accompanies spiritual beliefs. What's more, the improvements that were seen were directly tied to the belief that they had a God, or Spiritual Being that cared. That was the key...they believed that their God or Higher Power cared about their well-being.

So if you are seeking treatment for depression, of course medications are important in finding relief, but on top of that, it's a great idea to let your therapist know where you are in terms of religion and spiritual matters.
 
 
  1. You know, sometimes, when I begin working with a new client, they tell me that they are depressed, and that they have been depressed for quite a while now. When I ask them if they can pinpoint a situation or event that they believe triggered it, I often get a surprising response. They tell me it all started when they got married!

    It's believed that between 5 to 10 percent of Americans suffer from depression, the bulk of the sufferers being women. Researchers have found a major contributing factor to the malady in women is marital hostility. The research found that husbands’ hostile and antisocial behaviors increased their wives’ symptoms of depression over time. The more hostile and anti-social behavior exhibited by husbands, the more depressed their wives were after three years.

    What's even more interesting is that wives' hostile and aggressive behavior had little to no impact on the emotional well-being of the husband. Things that did affect the husband's experience of depression were serious illness, the loss of a job or promotion, or the death of a loved one.

    What's more, warm and affectionate behaviors from husbands significantly lowered a wife's experience of depressive symptoms!

    So what did the researchers define as antisocial behaviors? Antisocial behaviors are those that are self-centered, defiant or show a lack of restraint; hostile behaviors are those that are angry, critical or rejecting. So what does this mean? It means that we are affected by those we love, and they are affected by us. If you already knew that, its important to let your therapist or other mental health provider know what's going on for you at the couple level in order to provide a clearer picture of what is going on in your life.

    It may seem like a funny joke to tell someone that your husband is making you sick, but for many women, that's the sad truth. Depression can be a seriously debilitating disorder, but there are effective ways to deal with this disorder. Medication coupled with psychotherapy are the most efficient way to treat depression. See your physician and ask her about your medication options in treating your depression.




 
 
It's happened to all of us, we are driving down the street, minding our own, when some jerk decides to cut us off, endangering them as well as us! This can set in motion a ball of aggression from either yourself or your mate in response to the rude driving move. From there, the rest of the day can find itself unraveling into a tangled mess on the floor, with even more anger and hostility to top it off.

A lot of people have issues around anger. They could be suffering from unresolved anger, their spouse could have angry outbursts, a parent could be the anger monger, of course we have all had an unpleasant experience with an angry boss, and for the most part, being the brunt of another's anger feels just as terrible as being engulfed in anger ourselves. One of the worst feelings is being the parent of an angry child, because we know that our child is hurting. But there are things that we can do to avoid the horrendous pitfalls of anger and find a way to diffuse some of the anger that may be brewing inside.

Researchers have found that exercise is an invaluable tool in heading off uncontrollable anger. In fact, they have discovered that regular exercise seems to reduce anger expression in overweight but otherwise healthy children. In essence, exercise plays a dual positive role in treating issues of anger in kids and overweight.

In the first published study on the topic, scientists looked at 208 typically sedentary 7- to 11-year-olds who participated in a 10-15 week after-school aerobic exercise program or maintained their usual inactive routine. They discovered that by participating in regular exercise activities their angry expressions and aggressive behaviors diminished significantly.

Of course, this finding builds on the research that regular exercise is a great help in alleviating depression and anxiety in adults.

It also gives parents and other caregivers another reason to get and keep children moving...naturally the boost to metabolism from exercising is a plus, but when dealing with orneriness in children, the side benefit of a more easy going disposition from exercise is a huge plus! Also, the “quality time” that kids and parents spend together will certainly serve as a bonding tool. All in all, the benefits of getting out with your kids and playing ball or going skating is something that will bring a lot of rewards to the table. Naturally, if Mom or Dad gets moving with their kids , the family itself enjoys a a more relaxed mood if only because there isn't the same amount of energy reserved for hostile outbursts! So, next time you find yourself wanting to wring someone's neck, stop yourself...take your kids and go play a game of street hockey instead! Have fun and be safe!!




 
 
People who have cut themselves off from passion have switched their allegiance to something else almost as strong. Because the flow of life won’t be stopped, a counterforce must be called in to oppose it–the counterforce of fear. Fear of life is extremely common whenever someone complains of ennui.

Fear at any level of the psyche makes it much more difficult to trust that passion is safe. If my wife criticizes me, a warning voice that I hardly notice will sap my desire for her. If my husband dislikes the way I keep house, I will feel inhibition about fully expressing my sexual needs. Thus existential issues are activated by everyday obstacles.

In relationships where two people have allowed the underground war between fear and desire to go on too long, suppressing passion becomes an actual life goal. In fear’s warped value system, getting “too close” seems like a problem instead of the solution. As nature created us it is normal to seek pleasure; a fearful person avoids pain instead.

The reason that falling in love is so passionate is simple: desire is no longer a choice. Romance bursts the dam of inhibition. Its erotic power proves too much for fear and repression to hold back. At the deepest level people never fall in love accidentally. They simply grow tired of living without passion, and having made this unconscious decision they open up once more and allow themselves to receive love.

Without waiting to fall in love, you can rekindle passion by imitating this process. When the passion is gone from a relationship, both partners must be honest in stating that they have desires. The critical step is to eliminate your partner entirely as the cause of the problem and take responsibility for your own feelings.

Adapted from The Path to Love, by Deepak Chopra (Three Rivers Press, 1997).

 
Happy New Year! 01/02/2010
 
The first decade of the new century is now officially over, and as such, it seems that a bit of reminiscing can be appropriate.  Sure this decade started out with tons of anxiety over such whacky notions as "Y2K" and the belief that the monetary system under which we have all agreed to operate was going to collapse within the tick of a minute on a clock.....and that clearly didn't happen.  But while I was giggling about the Y2K craze with my husband, it occurred to me that naturally the decade was going to fall victim to mass hysteria and relentless public relations campaigns insisting that the sky was falling.  Or at least the Dow Jones was falling!  Now, I know this doesn't seem like something I would usually blog about, especially since I have promised the Universe that I would stay in a place of Positive Receptivity, while invoking the Spirit of Tranquility and Prosperity to all that come my way.  But this is not a roast of the decade, far from it. This is merely a New Year's Day refresher course on how to keep your eye on the prize, and other handy mnemonic devices to keep the attuned in tune!
While the next decade of our time is now upon us, I would like to go over some basics on how to get more of what you do want, and less of that stuff you say you don't want:

1. Stop! And take a deep breath...
This is an important first step in getting yourself to "Be here now", so to speak.  It's far too easy to allow ourselves to get frazzled, to the point of forgetting to take a deep breath.  By simply stopping and taking a couple of deep breaths, you immediately tune into yourself and have more awareness around what you are doing.  And, since this blog is mostly about Psychology, Happiness, and Getting What You Want, this getting-yourself-together-tool is a powerful one at that!
Next time you find yourself sitting on the freeway, cursing the traffic, STOP! and take a couple of deep breaths. You'll feel better, I promise!

2. Focus on your Feelings and then Learn to increase Certain Ones
Recently I had a chat with a woman that seems to have a difficult time getting the basics of Manifesting 101 under her belt. (She has to realize that Law of Attraction is always at work, for everyone, everywhere.) She rattled off a list things that were upsetting her, and then topped that list off with a slew of physical complaints that would only have seemed appropriate coming from the pages of a Solzhenitsyn novel!.  I asked her if it made her feel good to experience all the things she claimed she didn't create in her life.  Of course she told me that she felt terrible just talking about the stuff.  So I invited her to STOP talking about it, and do whatever it is that makes her feel better.  She looked at me as if I ate plate of broken glass, sprinkled with sugar of course.   She just didn't get it.
So here is what I tell everyone I work with...do more of what makes you FEEL GOOD, and less of what makes you feel BAD.  iImple stuff I should think..If you are feeling anxious and terrible every time you find yourself talking about your problems, but you feel good every time you are singing in the church choir, guess what?? It's a good idea to spend more time singing!  By doing what makes you feel good, you experience more feeling good.  Cutting edge discoveries into the hows and whys of the physical world are pointing to our feelings as predictors of what we will experience.  Learning to read our emotions, to learn what it is we are actually feeling, rather than masking our feelings through the various distractions (such as substance addiction...) is a wise thing to spend time understanding. We CAN learn to cultivate our feelings such that we are able to experience more of the feel good stuff.  In other words, "acting as if" you are already joyful, is a great way to cultivate a joyful feeling.
Tip; if this is all you do this year, so be it.  Instead of complaining and harping on what's wrong, simply sit on a chair and smile for two minutes a day.  Try it! You will discover that sitting and smiling is a meditation that anyone can do, and anyone can benefit from.

3.  Get Over It!
Humans seem to love a good revenge tale.  Yet, when we learn that it's far better to forgive a wrong doers deed, than to obsess and concoct ways to achieve vengeance, we set ourselves free.  I have heard it said that the Truth will set us free...I would add to that saying that forgiveness will also set us free.  When we make the choice to allow a hurt, a slight, a remark get us feeling lousy, we perpetuate the environment in which the slight was created.  By getting past petty grievances, and hurts from the past, you cultivate your emotions to be more positive.  This will attract more positive circumstances to appear in your life...which will then result in more positive feelings and so on.
For couples this year, I invite couples to do more kissing and less bickering.  Decide to choose your battles wisely, and you may not have to battle at all!  By having more physical closeness, you encourage and release key neurotransmitters in our brains that are responsible for feeling good.  SO, if oyu want to get along with your spouse better, just get cozy with them under the blankets and you will be surprised how quickly you two will bond clos

So, as we begin this new decade, let's all do a lot more of the stuff that makes us feel peaceful and loved, and less of the stuff that feels awful.  Deal? Great!


 
 
Anyone that knows me knows that I am a huge fan of Abraham-Hicks.   Abraham is the entity which Esther Hicks channels, teaching us, well...teaching us how to create more of what we want...more of the good stuff.  I love this instruction because it is very matter-of-fact, digestible, and incredibly elegant in its simplicity.   Basically, the teaching illustrates that by feeling good, we attract more of the stuff to us that created that feel good emotion.  So the better you feel..the more you feel better...and so on.   The Law of Attraction has been getting so much media attention lately and I am thrilled that this is the case.  I want to share with readers an excerpt from a Abraham-Hicks presentation;

If you feel disappointed about where you are in relationship to where you want to be, you'll never be able to be there.

If you feel hopeful about where you are in relationship to where you want to be, you've already begun closing the gap.

If you feel eager about where you're going, if you feel enthusiastic, if you feel passion- now you're on the way.

If you feel discouraged, you're not closing the gap. If you feel angry, you're widening the gap. If you feel frustration then you're sort of stuck right where you are.

Your emotions are your indication of your movement. So what you're reaching for is satisfaction with where you are and eager for more.

This passage illustrates how profound our emotions are in creating the lives that we wish to experience.  If you feel yourself feeling less than joyful, examine what is happening inside of you!  I wish you all the best of joyfulness and bliss!
 
 
I have a bit of experience on working with people that are experiencing depression.  As a therapist, it can be somewhat dismaying on a personal level to feel the frustration of being unable to "cure" a client of the ills associated with depression.  Especially when there are techniques that I KNOW will do a great deal of good.  But a study came out recently that Jeanette Maw was kind enough to post on her blog,www.thegoodvibeblog.com
about the prospect of using one's imagination to "fix" the past as per a post made by Lynne McTaggert on her blog.
Apparently, through the breakthrough of functional MRIs , scientists have been able to identify activity in the brain that is responsible for recalling events, as well as imagining future events.  Now what is so exciting about that? Well, a lot!!  For one thing, this "new" insight will help us to learn ways to re-understand our pasts, making repairs in the "future"/now that were needed in the past.  In an effort to get the point across to you best (or, more to the point-to hear it from the horse's proverbial mouth!) let me re-post McTaggert's post vis a vis Jeannette Maw's post (talk about six degrees of separation!):
In the brain, time does not exist. Extraordinary new evidence shows that the brain cannot distinguish between the recall of our own past (called ‘episodic memory’) and imagination of our future events. Indeed, the same areas of the brain are activated for both activities and are somehow intertwined.

The first clue to this came when researchers at University College London discovered that people with memory problems also have difficulties in imagining their future in any detail.

Patients suffering from amnesia, who could not recall specific information from their own life history, were able to conjure up only a fragmentary design of their future.

In other studies, people suffering from depression who routinely suffer lapses in memory have difficulty imagining their future.

One reason that depression may persist is that the sufferer has a problem imagining that life will ever get better for him.

Past and future come together

Recently researchers at Washington University in St Louis, Missouri, studied patients using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI). In this study, people were asked to both recall and imagine common events, such as a birthday party or the experience of getting lost. To the surprise of the researchers, identical areas of the brain were activated whether the participants were recalling or imagining.

As was noted in a recent issue of New Scientist: Not only is our personal past and future tightly ‘linked’ in the brain, but both are handled by a ‘universal module for mental time travel’. Even more fascinating, when the brain is not focused on anything in particular, researchers have discovered that the very same mental time-travel ‘network’ is still operating.

These findings pose many interesting questions regarding time and our relationship with it.

If the brain is simply an antenna and transducer of quantum information and it doesn’t distinguish between past and future, imagination and recall may well be interchangeable. Imagination could be used to ‘fix’ those past events that are still unsettling you.

Experiment with some of the following ‘retro-intentions’ with your partner or loved one. But first, make sure to ‘power up’ before you begin these exercises.

* If you’ve had a large bust up or disagreement of some sort that was never resolved, try having the two of you cast your minds back to the point where the event started. Carry out an intention for it to resolve itself at that time. See if it now feels resolved for you both.

* If you are still not getting along with someone, have both of you cast your minds back to the point where you first had the disagreement, and send your intention to change it there. Remember to be very specific.

* If you and your children argue frequently, try casting your mind back to a specific time when you were getting along. Imagine the same event with them at the age they are now. Try this frequently and see if it stimulates you to get along with them better in the present.

* If you cannot get along with someone at your place of work, imagine future events in which you are both working together harmoniously. See if that helps to resolve past issues.

* If you and a parent have unresolved conflicts from your childhood, go back to a really difficult moment. Imagine the same event in the future, with you and the parent as you are now, but ending up harmoniously. See if this alters your negative memories.

Now, I don't know about you, but this just really excites me.  So I started to use this technique right away.  I went back in my mind to situations that either made me feel miserably unhappy, or to-the-core embarrassed!  I went back in my memories and instead of being caught in the middle of that food fight in 8th grade...I reworked my "memories" and instead, I was showered in a cascade of rose petals!  (That was just a joke...)    :-D
 
 
One of the most fun time-wasters with which I love to fritter away a day of lounging and relaxation is through taking quizzes and tests online.  My teenagers seem to take more tests in an attempt to decipher, and then define their personalities, or more directly, which Twilight character they resonate with most, than do in school during any given week.   Hey! That is fine with me...I would rather have them in the family room taking quizzes than out running amok!   So what of these various personality tests, depression scales, overeating assessments, and other popular quizzes found on websites.  I believe they are a good thing rather than a bad because anything that can give one insight to who they are, what they tend toward, how they maneuver, where they feel most comfortable, yada yada is a bonis to the individual that is truly trying to figure out what exactly makes them tick.   I don't scoff at quizzes that are seemingly ridiculous because there are things in them that CAN be beneficial...if only for the fun facter.   Try taking one of these pop quizzes with your kids and you both may learn something about each other--and have a fun memory of doing it down the road.   So, by the way, what's your favorite color? Do you know what that color choice might say about you?  No? Well I happen to have a color indicator handy...how convenient, no?
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Whether we’re a vibrant Orange, or a peaceful Blue, our color preferences are a key to understanding our personalities. Find out what this color expert has to say about your favorite color. What does it reveal about who you really are? White: Symbolic of purity, innocence and naivete, white has strong connotations of youth and purity. If you are an older person, your preference for white could indicate a desire for perfection and impossible ideals, maybe an attempt to recapture lost youth and freshness. It may also symbolize a desire for simplicity or the simple life.

Red: The color of strength, health, and vitality, Red is often the color chosen by someone outgoing, aggressive, vigorous and impulsive—or someone who would like to be! It goes with an ambitious nature but those who choose it can be abrupt at times, determined to get all they can out of life, quick to judge people and take sides. Red people are usually optimistic and can’t stand monotony; they are rather restless and not at all introspective, so they may be unaware of their own shortcomings. They find it hard to be objective and may blame others for any mishaps. Quiet people with a preference for red may feel the need for the warmth, strength and life-giving qualities of the color, or they blanket their true feelings under a sober exterior. Red is usually chosen by people with open and uncomplicated natures, with a zest for life.

Maroon: Harsh experience has probably matured the Maroon person into someone likeable and generous. It is often a favorite color of someone who has been battered by life but has come through. It indicates a well-disciplined Red personality—one who has had difficult experiences and has not come through unmarked but who has grown and matured in the process.

Pink: This color embodies the gentler qualities of Red, symbolizing love and affection without passion. Women who prefer Pink tend to be maternal. Pink desires protection, special treatment and a sheltered life. Pink people require affection and like to feel loved and secure, perhaps wanting to appear delicate and fragile. Pink people tend to be charming and gentle, if a trifle indefinite.

Orange: This color of luxury and pleasure appeals to the flamboyant and fun-loving person who likes a lively social round. Orange people may be inclined to dramatize a bit, and people notice them, but they are generally good-natured and popular. They can be a little fickle and vacillating, but on the whole they try hard to be agreeable. Orange is the color of youth, strength, fearlessness, curiosity and restlessness.

Yellow: The color of happiness, wisdom and imagination, Yellow is chosen by the mentally adventurous, searching for novelty and self-fulfillment. Yellow usually goes with a sunny and shrewd personality, with a good business head and a strong sense of humor. It is the color of intellectuality and all things to do with the mind. Yellow folks are usually clear and precise thinkers who have a good opinion of their own mental capacities and who have lofty ideals. They may at times tend to shun responsibility, preferring freedom of thought and action.

Green: The color of harmony and balance, Green symbolizes hope, renewal and peace, and is usually liked by the gentle and sincere. Greens are generally frank, community-minded people, fairly sociable but preferring peace at any price. Green people can be too self-effacing, modest and patient, so they may get exploited by others. They are usually refined, civilized and reputable.

Blue: Soft, soothing, compassionate and caring, Blue is the color of deliberation and introspection, conservatism and duty. Patient, persevering, conscientious, sensitive and self-controlled, Blues like to be admired for their steady character and wisdom. They are faithful, but are often worriers with somewhat inflexible beliefs and can be too cautious, and suspicious of flamboyant behavior.

Blue-Green: Exacting, discriminating, poised and attractive, the Blue-Green person tends to be sensitive, intellectual and refined, persevering and stable if rather detached. Blue-Greens have excellent taste, and are usually courteous and charming, capable but often refusing help or guidance.

Turquoise: Complex, imaginative and original, Turquoise people drive themselves hard and may be in a state of turmoil under their outwardly cool exterior.

Lavender: This is often chosen by a person who lives “on a higher plane,” who never notices anything sordid and who is always impeccably and beautifully dressed. Lavender people may be on a continual quest for culture and the refined things of life, high and noble causes but without the necessity of getting their hands dirty. A Lavender person is usually creative, charming, witty and civilized.

Purple: Purples are highly individual, fastidious, witty and sensitive, with a strong desire to be unique and different. Temperamental, expansive and artistic, a Purple person may become aloof and sarcastic when misunderstood. If you chose Purple, you tend to be unconventional, tolerant and dignified, likely to achieve positions of authority.

Brown: A Brown person has stamina and patience, tending to be very solid and substantial, conscientious, dependable, steady and conservative. Browns are not impulsive, and may be inarticulate and tactless but they love responsibility and are reliable and kindly. If you chose Brown, watch out for a tendency to be obstinate and inflexible.

Gray: The color of caution and compromise, diligent Grays search for composure and peace and often work hard without reward. Older Grays like life to run on an even keel with few ups and downs. Young Grays may be withdrawing from life and suppressing their personalities. Grays often have good business ability and tend to work too much.

Black: Dignified and impressive without being showy, Black people want to give the appearance of mystery, but their preference may also indicate a suppression of desires and worldly aims, suggesting hidden depths and inner longings.

Adapted from The Healing Power of Color by Betty Wood (Inner Traditions, 1998).